I AM WHO I AM at 72 (A Birthday Reflection)

By Terry Mattson

On Easter of 2025 on Wix I Wrote "I am Love or I am Chaos & I AM" (See Link Below) 

I am Love or I am Chaos & I AM


Today's Rough Draft Blog is some random thoughts on my 72nd Birthday.


At the edge of 72 years into my story it is God's Story that captures me still. It is surprising but true, that about God and The Faith handed down, I am more certain than ever of its essential truth--even as I am keenly aware of its inherent contradictions. The Faith's essential core is The Trinity of God and the Communion of love worthy of my life; especially in the broad contours of revelation as fleshed out in Jesus.

There are a few paradigms that seem settled. Among them:

God is. God is good. 

God is Three who are One in Love,  Communal and personal in essential nature--terrifying in Sacred Awe.1

God cares deeply about our creaturely goodness; so much so that all Creation is somehow affected by our human choices toward or away from goodness. Accountability and redemption are bound together and flow from God's absolute commitment to renew all Creation, including each of us, to become living signs of God's creativity and love--each in unique beauty; humans ever human, angels ever angels. 

The life, teaching, passion, death and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth is the center of Cosmic history out of which flows the material/spiritual restoration of the angels and humans, indeed space-time itself; the cosmic Christ holding every event, experience and person in redemptive love until all who will, come home--hopefully all.

We, who are human are by nature, dependent creatures whose very breath, purpose, life is lived within forgiveness; awaiting only our God assisted cooperation to know the healing, cleansing and restorative purpose to awaken--if only we will.

These good ends can finally be resisted until we are finally lost to ourselves, one another and the restored creation coming; all lost only as we refuse the very Trinity of God. 

Evil is real, made personal in a high risk war between sentient persons and The Creator. This war is necessitated because all that is lives in a dance of life or death according to our communal and individual orientation away from or into The Creator's goodness. 

The universe itself remains permeated by the holiness and love of The Three Who are One. The Cosmos 

The cross is the eternal contradiction that assures redemption and the risk of its opposite. The numinous2 or quality of trembling awe, the tremendous mystery is the beyond rational tremor that permeates all Creation, seeking from every creature and moment the cry of 'holy, holy, holy is The Lord God Almighty, who is, was and is to come. The very Breath of Creation remains the essential invitation to lay down our rights in awe of The One who laid down His own rights to guarantee salvation to all, unless...


Whatever else remains speculation. These are the things of which I I am quite settled; though admittedly cannot know with certainty. 

Until that day I shall always rest in my earliest assurance. "Jesus loves me this I know. For the Bible tells me so."


Blessings! Terry 06/23/53







The final outcome 

God is good to the very core of love from which Three Unique Persons are held in a union 

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